A Countdown of Anticipated Fatherhood

                Last week, Mel listed the ten things she is most looking forward to about motherhood. She mentioned how she occasionally daydreams about the joyful times and events she will share with our future son or daughter. Well, I often daydream as well about the things I will do and experience with my future son or daughter and I do indeed have some things that I am really looking forward to doing and experiencing with him or her.

However, being a guy, the things I daydream about regarding fatherhood are obviously a bit different. Now I’m not the greatest “man’s man” that you’ll ever meet. I don’t fish or hunt very well, I can’t climb a tree, and I don’t really enjoy getting dirty. However, I do have some fun things both indoors and outdoors that I am looking forward to sharing with my kid. Here are the first five (please don’t laugh!).

1 – Telling Stories – Most of you know by now that I love telling old stories about weird and wacky experiences that I’ve had in the past, usually involving the person I’m telling the story to who probably already remembers the experience. The stories usually start with, “Hey, do you remember the time when…”. Most of the time they’re not even that funny, they’re just weird. But a new kid will not have heard any of these stories, and since they will have little to compare the stories to, the stories should by default be funny. So I’ll have a new person to tell all the old stories to. And that will be a laugh indeed.

2 – Reading Stories – Like Mel said last week, reading to our future son or daughter will be a great joy. My dad always read to me when I was a kid. The first story of importance I remember him reading to me was The Selfish Giant, which is  about a giant who locks himself within his castle and won’t let any children play in his garden. It’s a wonderful story at whose end the Baby Jesus appears and silently presents a moral and so forth. My dad also read me The Chronicles of Narnia when I was young, and The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings when I was older. I look forward to doing the same thing and instilling my child with a love of not only the written word but also the art of storytelling and listening.

3 – Going on Hikes – Growing up in England, I had access to the beautiful English countryside within an hours’ drive. My dad frequently took my brother and me on walks in the country where we would walk and talk and look at nature and explore. He would oftentimes carve us out a walking stick from a branch. These were great experiences where I got to know both my dad and the country we lived in. I can’t wait to do this with my future child so that he or she can experience me, the world, animals and plants, and walking with a tree branch!

4 – Doing Things on Weekends – Following along from the last point, I am really, really looking forward to spending time with my future kid on the weekends. My dad always blocked off every Saturday for me and my brother. He rarely, if ever, worked a Saturday. He usually didn’t take ministry calls on Saturdays. He worked Sunday through Friday and people had access to him then. On Saturdays he would take us on walks, to historical sites, museums, movies, swimming pools, or just on bike rides around the neighbourhood. I always knew I could rely on a Saturday with him. Many people wonder why I didn’t grow up to be a rebellious pastors’ kid, and I think this is why – I never had to “fight God” for my dad. As a future father, I am really looking forward to keeping this tradition going.

5 – Star Trek!!! – Oh yes, how could I leave out Star Trek! Now you’re probably thinking that this one is probably the most ridiculous of my list of things that I’m looking forward to doing with my future son or daughter. You’re probably thinking that it’s just a dumb sci-fi show that the kid won’t like because it’s out of date. And you may be partially right. My son or daughter may dislike Trek because it’s old, the aliens look fake, or whatever. But I would rebut with this. Trek isn’t just silly-looking aliens and spaceships on strings. Star Trek is a show about humanity, where we are, where we’re going, and what we have to improve on. It taught me about honour and loyalty, duty and respect, doing the right thing even though the galaxy might say otherwise, and fighting with strength and dignity. Yes, I learnt many of these from the Bible and from my mom and dad, but I also learnt them from Star Trek. When my kid is old enough to understand it, I’m going to start him off on the old 1960s Star Trek, move on to the movies, and then the spin-off series (especially Deep Space Nine, my favourite!). I will encourage him or her to understand the stories and the characters and what’s going on. Yes, we’ll have fun with it, but it’ll also be a good insight into Humanity for my little guy or girl. And that will be so much fun, Spock.

So, there are five simple things I am looking forward to about fatherhood. I know these may sound silly and possibly unrealistic. But we all have unrealistic dreams – it’s making those dreams a reality with someone else alongside you that makes life interesting.

How Shall I Love Thee? A Countdown of Anticipated Mommyhood

I often sit and daydream about what I will enjoy most about motherhood. When I hold my son or daughter in my arms and love them with a mother's love, here are my top ten favorites that I dream about.

10.  Adoring the Cuteness. You know how when you see a kid so cute that you could eat them up? I can only imagine that is magnified tenfold with your own kid. The cute little cheeks and how adorable they are when they blink. I can't wait to get to love and adore each little finger and toe.

9.  Hugging. Oh, the sweet mommy hugs I will have! I will squeeze my little pumpkin ten billion times a day, I am sure.

8. Reading Together. This, actally, is one of the main reasons I want to be a mommy. I want to share all the wonderful books I have discovered throughout my life with my beloved child. From Ferdinand the Bull to Little Women to the Oddessy. And I love reading aloud. Oh, the bedtime story times we will have! 

7.  Sharing the Yummies. In the same way that I want to share my love of books, I want to share the foods I love with my child. I want to make them special batches of their favorite chocolate chip cookies. I want to watch when they eat something they don't like and then laugh together with great big laughs are their "yucky" faces. I want to give nourishment that will let them grow up big and strong. Maybe big and strong enough to join the US Olympic gymnastics team (yes, I was watching the tryouts for the US team last night).

6. Playing. Lincoln logs and games of hide and seek! I like playing with kids but I will love playing with and seeing my children play and have fun. The delighted squeals and the giggles, the intensity of building that tall tower of blocks, and the rosy checks from running, running, running! Just to see my child enjoying his or her childhood will be the delight of my heart.

5. Raising Up a Friend. I want my child to have good friends and to be a good friend. I think that this is one of the most important things I can instill in my little one. Friendship is one of the great joys of life. And so are the sleep overs, play dates, and camping trips that only become fun with friends and more friends!

4.   Dressing Up. Ok, I know that this may sound like I want a life-sized doll instead of a child, but I want to dress up my little one. Yes, costumes and playing superhero are fun, but that is not what I mean. I want to buy little Easter dresses (or cute little suits with adorable little bow ties), knit little hats and gloves, and put play clothes on little wiggly limbs eager to go out and play in the mud. I am looking forward to school shopping and buying them that accessory that only the cool kids have. I will try not to spoil them, I'm sure.

3. Having a Heart of my Heart. While this child will not be of my own flesh and blood, this child will be the heart of my heart. To be joined by that glorious thread of love that unites a mother and child. I know that there may be difficult work to form this connection due to adopted children's trouble with attachment, but I am trusting that God has this all worked out. In faith, we will bond firmly and strongly and he or she will know what it means to have a mother, to have a father, to have a family. In faith, I feel like this has already begun, and that my heart is in Bulgaria.

2.  Teaching the Love of God. As much as I want my child to know my love, so much more do I want my child to know the endless, boundless, perfect love of God. This is the love that casts out all fear, that can make the worst suffering shine with overflowing joy.  I know this love and how it strengthen, encourages, and gives prupose. I want my child to know this love that heals past hurts and gives hope for the future.

1.   Watching the Growing Up. I think that this is the number one reason I want to be a mommy. I want to watch my little child grow up and grow strong. I want to provide everything that is needed for this growth, and to love, to protect, to teach, to help my little sapling become a tall and mighty tree. I want my legacy to be that my children are healthy, loving, strong, wise, and true. I know they won't be perfect (I'm not, that's for sure, and the apple doesn't fall far from the tree), but I want them to be able to live life to its fullest, to love and to be loved by God, and to make a legacy of their own.

(dis)Couraged

So... normally I try and keep this blog upbeat - even when I am discouraged or being impatient.

But today I can't seem to drum up any bravado.

I am so discouraged... every time we work on our home study paperwork, it seems to grow.

We were going through all the papers this weekend, thinking we were down to the last form, almost ready to send it off... then I found the stack of forms that had somehow been separated from the rest... four or five forms with two copies of each - one for me and one for Ian. And some of them need to be notarized.

I was mad. I was frustrated. I wanted to throw my version of an adult temper tantum, followed by a comforting bowl of chocolate ice cream.

Mmmm....comfort in a bowl.

Instead, I got out my pen and started filling out the stupid forms...

The scripture I have prescribed for myself... Hebrew 12:1, 2:



Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

We have a joy set before us too... with its own pain and suffering to be endured. We have a race to run, with encumbrances to lay aside.

We, too, have a great cloud of witnesses surrounding us, cheering us on. (aka - you guys!)

So I think that I will try and stop focusing on the rocks and stones I am bruising my feet on as we run this race and start focusing on the cheers... and our little bundle of joy to come.

Still, where is that chocolate ice cream?

Adoption Tax Credit in Danger!

Dear Friends,

Would you like to help our adoption in a very easy way? It will only take a few minutes of your time.

Many of you know about the Adoption Tax Credits already – the IRS gives adoptive families some of their taxes back to reimburse some of the expense of adopting. This has enabled many families to adopt without extreme financial hardship.

However, if Congress does not act, the Adoption Tax Credit, as we now know it, will expire on December 31, 2012.

As this tax credit is only available to families once they have completed their adoption, we will not be eligible for this refund when we complete our adoption in a year or two unless the tax credit is renewed. We would be greatly blessed if you could help us by doing some lobbying for us to encourage the Congress to renew the adoption tax credit! The more people they hear from, the more likely this bill will become a law. This means so much to us and to other families reaching out to children in need.

PLEASE CALL YOUR U.S. CONGRESSIONAL REPRESENTATIVE TODAY and urge that he or she cosponsor the bipartisan bill H.R. 4373, the Making Adoption Affordable Act.

Action:
You can reach your Representative by calling the U.S. Capitol Operator at 202.225.3121 and asking for your Representative's office. If you don't know your Representative's name, go to www.house.gov/representatives/find and enter your zip code in the box provided.

Message:

·         I am a constituent in your district and the Adoption Tax Credit is important to me. (It matters to me because...)

·         I urge the Representative to become a co-sponsor of H.R. 4373, The Making Adoption Affordable Act.

·         If Congress does not act, the credit as we now know it, will expire in December 2012.

·         H.R. 4373 is bipartisan and it supports all types of adoptions (domestic private, foster care, and international).

·         This tax credit has made adoption a more viable option for many parents who might not otherwise have been able to afford adoption, allowing them to provide children with loving, permanent families.

·         Thank you for your support of H.R. 4373.

To learn more about the adoption tax credit go to adoptiontaxcredit.org.

You can also, "like" the Save the Adoption Tax Credit mission on Facebook at: www.facebook.com/AdoptionTaxCredit.

Many thanks,

The Elliotts

God's Heart for Adoption

While pondering God's heart for adoption and Google-ing, I came across this precious video. I hope it touches your hearts as it has mine.

No news on our adoption front - our hearts are still longing as we finish up the home study paperwork. Yes, it is taking a while, but we want to get it right the first time. We are very thankful that our agency is being very patient - and answering our 101 questions on what each question means and what the "right" answer is. They emphasize that there is not a correct response, but have done a great job at helping us answer the "right" question – as many of the forms are worded rather ambiguously.

Many blessings and thanks to our dear friends who have blessed us in this lengthy process - with encouragement, love, support - both in prayer, finances and just being there! We have quite a ways to go, but are looking forward to the rest journey – with you at our side!