Breathe Deep

We are almost done with our paperwork!... I think - more keeps coming out of the woodwork.

Do you know what a burden that will be off our backs? Looking back, it wasn't that hard as far as paperwork goes. But it wasn't the paper pushing that was so wearisome. It was that our very lives... and the life of a sweet little dear one... hung in the balance. It seemed like one faulty stroke of the pen could have ended it all.

Our little boy's home... for now.

90% done... and just a medical appointment and some appostilling away from being finished. Of course, that doesn't count in-country paperwork... finalization of the adoption papers, the visa, the passport, etc.

This week we will send our documents off to be apostilled... the medical one will be sent in after our appointment next week. We should be completely done, with our dossier sent in, by the end of June!

And then what will I do?!?! This has been our normal for over a year. I have been doing paperwork when I get home in the evenings, during weekends, early mornings, weekends, for what seems like forever. What will I do with all the free time I will have? It won't last long, I am sure... just some months of waiting and we will have our hands full. (Wait, what am I thinking... I have more grant application papers ahead of me - enough to keep me busy for a while!)

I have tried to sit and contemplate the significance of this little boy joining our family. I have tried to deeply consider the meaning of our little boy coming home to us. What will we do... what changes will need to be made to our lives? What will it be like? What will he be like? I tend to hyperventilate when I think that deep. I hyperventilated when Ian proposed to me. In moments when my entire life changes in an instant, I struggle to keep up.

I've been wanting to write a very deep blog post about the parallels between this adoption and something profound... because this feels very profound. But it is too much for me to grasp right now, when my whole world is spinning. It is hard enough for me to think, "We are going to need a high chair, some baby gates for the kitchen, and lots of diapers..." To think that we have son waiting for us to come and swoop him up is beyond me right now... almost... sometimes it hits me with full strength. It is in those moments that I need to breathe into my brown paper bag. So the very deep blog post will have to wait.