We Don't Just Survive...

Just about every day on Facebook, I see the pictures of proud parents: a picture of a scrawny, smiling teenager with the title, “My son will be in a freshman in high school this year!” Another smile, with a gap, titled, “Jenny just lost her first tooth!” Then a video with the caption “My children just created their own version of Gangnam Style!” (really?!!?)

Sometimes, I am fine looking at these precious children… so cute, so loveable!

But sometimes, when my day is dark and my longing for my child is so deep that it hurts, the pictures seem boastful, hurtful – jabbing at my already aching heart. “We have children, sons and daughters… you just have empty arms!” I know that this is not the intent of anyone when they post – they are just overflowing with happiness and pride – their hard work and love have resulted in something – someone – that is so awesome that they must share!

I would like to take this opportunity to share the awesomeness of my child.

I have an amazing kid! My kid is a survivor!

Orphanages in Bulgaria can be hard places… the kids are given the basics – but sometimes just barely:

• A bed to sleep in… maybe with a few others sharing it. There are a lot of orphans and sometimes not enough space. Even if they have their own beds, the beds are jammed in every foot of the room. Kids sometimes have trouble sleeping alone when they come home. This may mean we get to have family slumber parties every night for months on end!
• Food to eat… at least enough to keep one alive – but maybe not enough to grow. Kids that come out are often as skinny as skeletons and small for their age. Some children, upon arrival to the States, even have to be kept in the hospital to be slowly fed so that their bodies adjust to normal levels of food without killing them. If I can do anything well, I can feed people! We will have that kid fattened up and growing in no time!

•  Bathes and clothes – but there are no rubber duckies and no favorite shoes. Clothes are communal and you take what you can get. Ian does specialize in complete wardrobe creation! And can one have too many rubber duckies?!?
• Toys to play with… but they remain upon the shelf until prospective parents come. Some kids don’t even know how to play with toys! We have been told by our social worker that adoptive children are impossible to spoil. We accept this challenge!
• Adult supervision – but no love. Most orphanage workers will only meet the physical needs of the child… as far as that goes. Very few will spend more time or effort than is absolutely necessary – they view the children as unwanted, rejected misfits that no one would want and treat them that way. One of the biggest problems adoptive children face is learning how to be loved! It is a completely foreign concept for them and they just don’t know what to do with it at first. They have to learn to accept love and to be a part of a family – and to some, it doesn’t come easily. This may be hard, but it will be the best and most important part! A lot of grown men and women don’t know how to receive love, but it is one of the most essential skills one can learn. But we have a plan and a God who makes all things new! Prepare for Operation Love!

So for my child to endure the conditions of an orphanage… they must be a chip off the old block! The Elliotts (and the Browns too!) are strong, enduring people. It doesn’t matter what life throws at us – we survive! And beyond that we thrive… life gives us lemons and we don’t just make lemonade – we make some lemon meringue pie to go along with it!

Come home soon, o new, cute, little Elliott-child! We are ready to change your surviving into thriving, your existence into life!