I read a lot of blogs written by adoptive families about their children’s adoption and how their little ones are adapting to family life. For the most part, I am encouraged, strengthen, and cheered by their journeys. I am very grateful that they are willing to open a little window on their lives for me to watch, grateful for the stories of joy, love, and transformation they share. What a privilege!
I am also grateful for the stories they share of sorrow, grief, and loss. Stories of the fear that the children face when they are taken from their orphanage – the only home they have ever know. Stories of their children handed over from the orphanage bruised and beaten – with scars showing years of abuse. Of children dying of starvation and neglect before the families who are trying to adopt them finish their paperwork.
It is hard to hear these stories. My heart has been broken with these all too true tales. Sometimes I would rather not hear, not see, anything about the dark side of adoption. But it is there – and it is important to acknowledge. Yes, there is great joy in adoption, but it is the joy of turning away the darkness in a child’s life, of changing fear to security, of changing mourning to joy.
Adoption, especially from Eastern Europe, comes with the very possible reality that the child you receive into your family has a great deal of grieving to do and is in need of a great deal of healing. It is very likely that they have learned that adults do not meet their needs and cannot be relied upon for the most basic of care and can even be a source of great harm. These children are perceived as broken and in many ways, they are. And because they are broken, nobody wants them. They remain in their orphanages waiting for families that never come. As the months and years go by, they become even more broken and are rejected even more, and treated even worse by those who have been assigned to care for them.
Perhaps I have a bit of a Messiah complex, but I want to save these children from this vicious cycle. If I could, I would prevent it in the first place – but I cannot force a parent to want their child; I cannot change a culture where children are considered disposable; I cannot erase the poverty, death and sin that breaks up families. I cannot stop the broken souls who run the orphanages from hitting and taking out their anger on the little children in their care. I cannot even adopt them all… or even a significant number of them… I am doing all I can right now with the adoption of just one.
There is one other thing that I can do – be their advocate – both spiritually and socially. I can pray for them… and you can too. And maybe if we all really prayed, and not just say that we would, God would move and save these dear little souls. And I can pray for families to hear God’s call on their lives to be rescuers of these little ones. With most people, this is just not a place where they are at yet – they are not ready yet – perhaps not ever.
I often wonder how God sees it all… He is far more understanding than I am – He knows people’s hearts and is working on them to be more like Him. He is teaching us to be His hands – to love as He loves, to sacrifice as He sacrificed… we are being transformed into His image. I know a few of years ago, Ian and I were nowhere near ready or even open bring a strange child into our home – especially not one with “special needs”. But God transformed me (and Ian too)… it hurt more than anything I have ever experienced, but He changed me into person who happily, joyfully, lovingly longs to rescue, at any cost, an imperfect, “broken” child. I would not have thought it possible a few years ago. Who knew! God did.
So I will be patient as God works out the hearts of those He is calling to be mothers and fathers to the motherless and fatherless, to the rejected, the broken, the lost and forgotten. In fact, I have a special place in my heart for them – it is a hard transformation to endure. I will encourage them, cheer them onward, believe in them, and love them. But what about the children? There is a promise we can lean on… If we are faithless, He is faithful. (If it was me, I would say when, not if, we are faithless… we humans are rather predictable that way.) I trust that as I pray, He is working out a rescue plan for each little soul. Even if I am faithless and don’t pray, He is there!
Update on the adoption and fundraising… it is going well – we are still waiting for that signature! We are grateful for the deep generosity of our friends and family. We are getting closer and closer to having our final payment of adoption fees ready – we still need about $2165 plus the cost of travel. We will need to buy plane tickets for our first trip as soon as we receive our travel dates as the cost is going up like crazy… it is now about $1100 per ticket! If you would like to help, it would mean the world to us! Donation Options.
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