The Perfect Child

I have the perfect child. I look at his photos – so smiley. Sitting there quietly, playing with his toys. Such intelligence – so inquisitive! Handsome and he hasn’t thrown a temper tantrum yet!

But he isn’t real.

The child I imagine my son to be is a fabrication. He is no more real than a storybook character. My ideas of who he is and what he is like are based on assumptions. Yes, I know what the adoption agency has told me about him – I have practically memorized it. I have poured over each corner of the photographs, trying to discover the world in which he lives. But I don’t know him.

When we fly to meet him in the very near future, we will begin a journey of discovery. We will find out what he is like… and if that is a freckle under his chin or is he just did not have his face wiped after lunch. We will start to get to know the real boy. Perhaps our assumptions will turn out to be correct… perhaps not, but we would rather know the truth about him, about who he is. We don’t want the perfect child – we want the real, squirmy, screaming, bundle of joy – complete with dirty diapers, sleepless nights, and mess. 

Right now, that very real child, my very real son, is half a world away. I don’t hear his cries, I don’t know if he is hungry, or scared, or forgotten. We don’t hear how he is doing. Is he sick? In the hospital?!? They would not tell us if he was. I lay awake at night wondering if he is okay. If your three-year-old was half a world away in the care of strangers, could you sleep at night?

I do trust that God is watching over him. I do know that I probably have no need to worry. But I would rather have him here, in my arms, taking care of his every need.

No, we have not received our travel dates yet. Yes, I am pestering the adoption agency, but they must have gotten caller id and are avoiding my calls. Probably not, I am just being grumpy and impatient. Perhaps this is God’s grace, though, as we are still trying to come up with funds. God and our dear friends are joining together to get us what we need to go get our little guy – I am often moved to tears at people’s generosity and their loving prayers. Where would we be without you guys? Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Our adoption agency told us yesterday that once we receive our travel dates, we will have just two weeks to get in all the funds, buy tickets, and fly out. Yes, it will be crazy. Yes, God will provide. Yes, crazy fun. I am eager to see how God will do it all - I have faith that He can and will, but how is a mystery to me. It's like we are waiting for a grand reveal of His provision. I can't wait to see what He will do.

Here is the link if you would like to help us with the funds to bring our little son home! Donation Options. Prayers are also very much needed!