Love at First Sight?

Sometimes I feel like I am looking for my lost child… searching the crowd for that one familiar face. I know that my experience does not in any way compare to the grief of a mother whose child has been kidnapped or lost… but my heart is heavy, my arms missing a little warm body to hug, my home devoid of the laughter of a happy little child that should be there. There is a grief I feel, and I am constantly searching for I face I do not know but is no less real just because I do not know it.

Do you believe in love at first sight?

Yes, I do… well, not necessarily for everyone, some people you grow to love. But I think, for me, in all of my very special relationships – my husband, my closest friends – something in my heart recognized something in theirs and I knew… I am meant to be with this person – in friendship, in love. Will I have that same experience with my future little one? Oh, I hope so! I hope that I will recognize my child as soon as I see him or her!

I know it may not happen that way… we may be given a referral or see a child on the list and ask God for guidance and hear His Almighty “Yes!” This would be an equally special experience, to know that God has spoken this child into our family. What a delightful story that will be to tell our little one!

Either way, I don’t care how I know that this child is “the one” but I want to know it soon. Ian and I have come to the point in this adoption process where we are exhausted and worn out with the work and the waiting. We need to see that face, to see our little child to spur us onward. The emptiness grows more and more each day and we strain to see God working out His promises. We walk in faith, yes, but sometimes a glimmer of hope, a glimpse of the goal is needed to keep going our feet moving forward.

We are at the point in the process where we can commit to a child – this is very exciting! I check the website of waiting children every day, multiple times a day. Yes, they only update it every two or three months, but you never know! I even check the lists of other adoption agencies, knowing that eventually these children will be rotated onto our list, at our agency.

Please pray for us… that we would know our child very soon – that we would be matched with the one who will fill our hearts, our arms, and our home. Pray that we would not be worn out with the waiting. Pray that we would move ahead tirelessly through the rest of the dossier process on faith alone, if necessary.