God Redeems the Wasted Years

Diary of a Soon-to-be Daddy

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

God Redeems the Wasted Years

The year 2010 was a wasted year for both Mel and me. It was a complete loss; a trial, a tribulation; a year of underemployment and frustration and grief for us. And those of you that had the misfortune of knowing us (or specifically me) during that year will remember just what a catastrophic disaster and unending debacle it was.

It started out in the fall of 2009 in the aftermath of our move to DC. We knew we were supposed to be here but we ended up not knowing why. Originally, I had thought I would take my graduate degree in global political and economic development and work for USAID, the State Department, or another government agency or non-profit organization whose business it was to help countries develop their economies and political systems. This job never worked out, mostly due to the fact that there were very few jobs in this field in DC at the time, and also because I had a head full of theories without any hands-on work to show for it.

Then I started losing the eyesight in my right eye. I went from having tolerably good vision in that eye (I could see 20/60 with my glasses on – which is good for me considering the vision problems I have) to having no vision at all. My left eye doesn’t see as well, so in essence, I lost the better of my two eyes. This was crushing and grievous because my parents and I had fought for years to preserve my sight from the degenerative condition that now was exacting its heinous victory over me. 

Finally, in 2010, Mel and I discovered that our dreams of having children were just not going to happen like we planned. This was the very large straw that broke the camel’s very weak back. Life was over at this point. It felt like there was no point in even living. The year 2010 drew to a close with Mel and I battered and broken, disheartened and discouraged, me still underemployed and us now without a hope for children. The year was a gigantic loss. It was the worst year of my life. 

But God redeems the wasted years.

Somewhere across the pond in Bulgaria, also in fall of 2009 when my miseries began, a Bulgarian woman realized that she was pregnant in what I can only assume was not a good situation. Less than nine months later, a boy who would later become our son was born prematurely and abandoned to the Bulgarian orphanage system. A little boy was born that terrible year – 2010. 

He was abandoned and discarded, punished for someone else’s misdeeds. He didn’t ask to be born; he certainly didn’t ask to be left without a loving mom and dad. A new life that should have been full of hope and promise and love was suddenly cast aside and forgotten about. A human being, a person, a child who will one day become a strong man was dumped in a crib, fed through a tube, and forgotten about. 2010, his birth year, may as well have been the worst year of his life too. 

But again, God redeems the wasted years. 

This year, three years after the worst year of my life and possibly the worst year of our son’s life, God has brought us together. We were both once wasted and discarded people. Society looked at both of us and said, “Who cares?” But this year we are brought together. No, we haven’t seen the boy yet in person (that will most likely happen in September or October). We’re not even officially matched yet (which is why we can’t show photos of him). But I know in my heart of hearts that the Lord has set him aside for us. The Lord’s voice is too clear and the signs too obvious for me to question them without coming to a resounding YES. In the midst of my hopelessness and despair, the Lord was bringing me a son. In the midst of our son’s year of birth and abandonment, our Father in Heaven was setting aside for him a new father and mother. God was busy redeeming the worst year ever for all of us.

This week we not only celebrate Mel’s birthday, but also our son’s. We can’t say exactly the date he was born because, as I said above, we’re not officially matched yet and there’s legal mumbo-jumbo in the way. But his birthday is close at hand. While he is only turning three and thus may not be aware of birthdays and holidays and special events and such, we can be sure that he will probably have an underwhelming birthday – no balloons, no cake, no presents, and no mom and dad to shower him with love. But this year, hopefully, he will be brought home to his mother and father. He doesn’t know it yet, but this year he will be placed in a home. This year he will receive love like he’s never known. This year he will be redeemed.

Because God redeems the wasted years.