SAQs

This week, I want to answer a couple of unasked questions – questions that I see on people’s faces and hear in their voices – questions that are not polite or considered acceptable to ask. I’ve touched a little on some of these questions before, but I still come across them quite frequently. I call them SAQs – silently asked questions – because few people are willing to voice them.  However, these questions are genuine and need to be answered, so I will give them the best answer I know how.

SAQ: Why didn’t you adopt domestically – don’t you know how many children are waiting for good parents in foster care?

A: We had a couple of reasons for adopting internationally. One of the reasons for us adopting was that we wanted to help a child in need. And while the needs of the first world orphan are many, the needs of the second and third world orphan are even greater. Children in the US need parents, it is true – and we are excited and grateful for those who step forward to meet this need – but there are children out there that don’t have food to eat. Or medical care to keep them healthy. Or lay imprisoned in cribs day in and day out. You might find these conditions in the US, but they are rare – the exception. In many countries around the world, these conditions are the norm for orphans. To us, what joy it was to think that we could change the life a child in great need.

Vanya needs parents – this is perhaps his greatest need. But he is also undernourished. He is the size of a two year old - even though he is three – but a very skinny two year old. When we show someone his picture, the first question is – are you sure he is only three and not older? It is true, if you have no reference for his height, he looks like a five year old. The reason is that he has no baby fat like other children his age. He also is the recipient of Eastern European medical care… I won’t comment further, but we are eager to get him to some US doctors.

SAQ: What a shame you could not find a healthy child to adopt! Are you sure you are ok settling for a child with special needs?

A: The answer to this question is similar to the answer to the previous question. We are choosing to adopt a child with special needs. It is what we want, what we were looking for when we set out to adopt. The decision was made something like this… We had made the decision to adopt a couple of weeks before and to adopt internationally to meet a greater need. But for days, God had been asking me a question – was I willing to meet an even greater need? Was I willing to love one of the least of his children – one with special needs? One that was rejected by everyone – who could possibly live his or her whole childhood neglected in the orphanage if we did not step forward? People are lining up by the thousands to adopt healthy babies. But who will adopt the child who is broken and scarred? So I took a deep breath and broached the topic with Ian… half fearing that he would reject the idea. I had no reason to fear… God had been asking him the same question! Our answer became a resounding “Yes, Lord!”

SAQ: So what are Vanya’s special needs?

A: When you look at a picture of Vanya, he looks healthy. He has all four limbs and a wonderful smile! But he is visually impaired… the doctors thought he was completely blind at first, but very recently, it became evident that he does see a little – perhaps just shadows; we won’t know how much until he starts communicating what he is seeing. His lungs are damaged and underdeveloped from his premature birth. He has trouble breathing and is not getting enough oxygen. As his left lung is the stronger of the two it does most of the work – as a result he has a lopsided chest. He has a third special need that we know of (we could always discover more when we take him to the doctor) – his legs are very weak with little muscle tone. This could be just because he spent his first two years doing nothing but laying in his crib, but there could be underlying medical reasons. But he is walking now with support!

We believe that we are the best thing for Vanya – some good food, good medical care, and a whole lot of love will set some of what is wrong with him right. Some things cannot be fixed – unless God has something special up his sleeve! But we believe that if God is calling us to be this boy’s parents, we are going to be equipped to take care of him. We already know some – like the ins and out of the visually impaired world because of Ian’s own sight issues. We know that God will teach us as we go along too.

Please be praying for Vanya… and for us. We are getting ready to meet him for the first time… we will receive our travel dates in a few weeks. Please pray that the finances will come in… we still have about $4,200 to go for his adoption fees, plus the cost of travel. Thank you to all that have given both prayers and funds to get us this far!