The Elliotts at Home

Hello All!

Our adoption process is inching along... getting the little things done on the dossier paperwork while we wait for the FBI to get our most recent round of background checks done (this is the third and final set).

One of the items that needed to be prepared was a set of photos showing our home life. One of our dear friends - who is a very accomplished professional photographer - came and snapped and clicked away and captured our life so beautifully.

Here is a picture of us!

Yes, this is the first picture that our child will see of his or her new mommy and daddy! (Well, if the orphanages even do that... I get mixed stories about if these photo are just for the officials or for introducing us to our kid.) But, yes, that is what we look like.

She took photos of us doing all the things we love... reading, playing board games, baking. We were photographed preparing our new kiddo's room and in every room of our apartment, hanging out on our balcony, even walking by the lake. In the end, I think that who ever sees these photos will have a pretty comprehensive view of our life at home.

(By the way, if you are interested in her services, our friend does photo shoots all over the DC metro area. Just let me know and I will connect you with her. We highly recommend her! )

I can't wait to have her come and do another photo shoot of our new addition to the family... once the dust settles, that is!

Seedlings

For the first time in many years, I am gardening! I have my little seedlings that I started many weeks ago out on the balcony getting acclimated to the sunshine and fresh breezes. Will soon transplant them into their pots where they will live the rest of their lives, blooming and (hopefully) producing fruit. Cucumber for pickles, tomatoes and chilies for salsa, and squash for me to saute in butter. Mmmm.

At this point in the gardening process, I normally choose only the most healthy seedlings to transplant. The ones with strong stalks and big leaves. But this adoption is making me far too tenderhearted. I cannot for the life of me get rid of the "special needs" seedlings in favor of the stronger ones, so they are going in the pots too. The weak ones, the ones with shrivelled leaves, the ones scarred from having difficulty shedding the seed pod. Sigh. I love them all.

Some people have been taken aback at the news that we are adopting a special needs child. Because of this. I normally don't tell people who I think won't understand or who may be negative about it. Not that most people are rude - they are just awkward and start acting like I have bit of broccoli in my teeth and won't look at me straight.

(Please note, anyone who know us - truly knows us - didn't bat an eyelash when we told them the exciting news of our adoption of a kid from Bulgaria that would need a little extra care. Our friends and loved ones were just as excited as we were!)

The conversation normally goes like this:

Acquaintance: So, do you have any kids? (Up unto this point, they have been talking forever about their kids and have noticed my silence.)

Me: We are in the process of an adoption, so yes. (To just say, "No, I don't have kids" leads into another awkward conversations about how I really should - people are so opinionated. Anyway... I love talking about our kid!)

Acquaintance: Really! How exciting! Domestic? (Because this the preferred option, you know.)

Me: Yes, it is exciting! No, from Bulgaria!

Acquaintance: Oh! (Less excited at this point but still determined to carry on the conversation somehow.) Boy or Girl? How old?

Me: (Still excited.) Oh, we don't know yet - but there are more boys available than girls, so maybe a boy. And we are adopting a kid between the ages of two and six. Though we could go older if we saw just the perfect one for us.

Acquaintance: Oh. Not a baby? (With the tone of voice that says, "A baby would be better." Because, you know, they are the expert.)

Me: No... Bulgaria only has two and up available for adoption. That is all we really know about out kid. Oh, and our kid will have special needs. (I am getting annoyed at this point, but am still too excited that I get to speak out all I know about my cutie pie.)

Acquaintance: Oh. You must be a saint. (This is not admiration, but patronization.)

And before I can say another word of explanation, the conversation is quickly changed or the person just walks away. I have only had this conversation a handful of times... then I just stopped sharing.

But let me explain to you, dear reader, we are not saints. We are not better people than anyone else. We were asked to adopt, to rescue, one of God's little ones whom He loves most, to love and provide a simple home. We just said yes, where others say no. That is all. Even that did not come from us, but from having hearts that God has made soft and eager to return the love that He has so abundantly give us.

We are the same as anyone else. Are we stronger? No, God will give us strength. Are we wiser? No, but God will give us wisdom. Are we more loving? No, but God's love abounds in our hearts and even overflows.

A child with special needs is still a child. And a child who deserves life... abundant life with lots of hugs and cookies, and maybe even some baseball games thrown in. We are willing to work hard and long to enable our child to have this life. We want this life together with them. We want this child earnestly, desperately, and impatiently!

The Gift of Citizenship

Several weeks ago Mel and I went to a government office and then a police station to get our fingerprints taken. No, we weren't being booked (Danno), we were providing our fingerprints to the U.S. Government so that when our adopted child lands on American soil with us, he will automatically receive U.S. citizenship. It was a terrible ordeal - not because anything went wrong, but simply because we were feeling the intensity of the battle for our child's future life with us. This past week, we received a letter in the mail from the US Customs and Border Protection: our child's future citizenship is approved!

This for me is a big deal for many reasons. On one hand, a "new" citizenship is something that means more to me as a citizen of two countries than it may mean to someone who's grown up as a citizen-by-default of the nation they were born in. It also means a lot to me that something I really prize - my American citizenship - will be given to my future child even though he, like me, was born in another country.

Having an American mother, I was considered an American citizen the day I was born, even though I was born in a women's hospital in south London (right across the street from the Clapham South Tube Station - go Clapham!). While I remain a British subject to this day (and am very proud of that in its own right), I have the gift of American citizenship. It was given to me by my mum. All the rights, privileges, and responsibilities of that citizenship were granted to me free. That gift has allowed me to move to the States and make a new life for myself. And now I get to pass that on!

But more than that, it means something to me spiritually. St. Paul writes in Philippians 3 that we all can be citizens of the Kingdom of God, not just of this world. While we possess citizenships in the nations of Man, those who choose to serve the Lord have a greater citizenship in His Kingdom. We obtain this citizenship the moment we choose to be adopted into His Family through salvation. We then live, work, and have fellowship with our fellow Citizens and we celebrate daily our higher Allegiance (while still of course respecting and working for the spiritual health of our earthly countries - I Peter 2, Romans 13, etc). God created this holy citizenship and has been working since time began to encourage the human race to receive it through adoption into His family.

How is this relative to my upcoming fatherhood? My future child has no idea that right now, at this very moment, he has the certainty of being an American citizen as well as part of my family. He is stuck in a fetid crib in a crumbling orphanage, probably starving, emaciated, and dejected. He has no idea that Mel and I have worked so hard and done so much for him just so that he can come be with us and enjoy the citizenship we have. But one day, he will. We will pick him up and bring him home. He will enjoy his citizenship that we worked hard to get for him. It has been so hard for me and Mel to get this. It has taken time out of our work days, time out of our lives, time away from our friends, and has been unfathomably stressful. In essence, it has taken sacrifice. In the same way the Christ sacrificed for us so that we could have citizenship in His Kingdom, Mel and I have sacrificed so that our future child, even though he doesn't know it right now, can have citizenship in our "kingdom." But best of all, like Jesus who has been victorious and who rejoices when we obtain His citizenship, we will too. This adoption will one day be done, we will see victory, and we will enjoy our citizenship as a family together!

A Busy Easter

We had a busy Easter… which was fun… but busy. I am tired… but it was good.

The kids at our church did a skit… I was the narrator! The idea was that if I read all their lines for them with them repeating the lines after me, then they wouldn’t have to memorize them and there would be no danger of them forgetting lines. Guess who forgot a line?!? Me! And the kids all knew it too – they had it memorized! They managed to continue on with the skit without letting on – and better than some acting pros I know! I was so proud of them!  

We had an egg hunt… I spent a couple of hours stuffing plastic eggs with candy. We hid them and left them unattended while we went into church for the service. When we came out again, some hooligan had come along and eaten the candy out of the vast majority of the eggs. Shocking, yes! And no, it wasn't an animal as the candy was meticulously unwrapped and littered on the lawn. The kids were so disappointed, but our Pastor Kelly came along and saved the day. She turned a sad event into a life lesson on forgiving and praying for those who hurt us... which is a very appropriate lesson to learn for Easter!Those kids forgave quicker than I did! I was so proud of them!

We also had time for visits with two sets of dear friends – one on Friday night and the other on Saturday – that left us encouraged and buoyant. True friends always know the right words to say… or not to say… that can turn gloom and weariness into sunshine and hope. We are truly grateful to them… and for so many others that God uses to lift our heads when life gets tough.

We are waiting… and that is tough. Waiting for our immigration approval to come in, waiting for our FBI background checks to come, waiting for the next batch of kids to be assigned to our adoption agency so that we can look through the list for the future little Elliott. We have a couple bits of paperwork for our dossier that we can work on, but until the immigration approval and the background checks come back, we are stalled.



We can’t wait to have a son or daughter sleeping under our roof… but we have to wait. We are stuck in the doldrums, waiting for a wind to come and blow us back into the current so that we can proceed on our way. It is good that we are keeping very busy… and that our friends are keeping us encouraged. It is God’s mercy. I am sure He knows what it would be like for us to be waiting and waiting with no work to occupy our hands or friends to steady our souls.

Please pray that the documents we are waiting for to come in… and, when they do come in, for our busy lives to make room for the rush of action that will be required for the next stage of paperwork.

Thank you all!