Tuesday, November 26, 2013

A Few Days More…

We are waiting for our paperwork to come back from the apostillers… it will just be a few more days.
Each step ahead of us doesn’t take that long… just a few more days each.
If we did not have so many steps to go, it would not seem like such a long wait.
A few more days, a few more, and we are still talking months away before we see our little one again.

We miss him… our dear little son.
We love him… but our hearts ache because we must love him from afar.
If we look at the long journey still ahead – quite honestly – it is discouraging.
But we don’t look at the weeks and the months.
We look at the days… and they are flying by.
Will you pray for us? There are things that are heavy on our hearts and we need some help lifting them up to our Father in Heaven.



  • Pray that our son remembers us – we hope and pray that he realized the significance of our visit to him in September and understands that we are coming back for him.
  • Pray for favor with government officials… both here in the US and in our son’s homeland. If we could do each task in a couple of days instead of a few days we would be holding our little Victor in our arms in no time. But that would take the good will and favor of the countless hands through which our paperwork passes.
  • Pray for his health… in past winters, he has had to go to hospital with various common colds and such that have become serious infections in his respiratory system. May God keep him strong and healthy!
  • Pray for us and our families as we wait… his grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends, and admirers are all eager for his homecoming. It is hard to wait – but it is worth it!

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Enduring Joy!

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.
Ever had a dream come true?

It is glorious! But soon enough, the elation fades and life goes back to normal.

Ever had a dream be way past overdue?

To wait and wait and wait… and never see it come to past? Or maybe you have even had the horrible experience of watching a dream die and all possibility of it coming true pass away into oblivion?

If this dream is a dream of your heart, a long hoped for essential part of your life – part of your identity – part of you breaks. You are no longer whole, you have a wound that aches night and day. It makes you cry at others’ joy, and shrink from life. You are sick, and the longer you live without the dream, the sicker you get. Pain turns to despair, which then becomes bitterness. You become poisoned with your pain.

What happens when you watch your dream die?
 
Without it ever seeing the light of day, you have to bury that dream, grieve it with bitter tears, and then prepare to face the rest of your life – your empty arms a constant reminder of your broken heart. Can one even live a life like that?

This is a sickness that needs healing just like any other. If you let it go without treatment, the rot of bitterness with reach the very core of you and you will die even though you live.

Some time ago, this was me.

I clutched my dead dream to my heart and cried. And cried and cried. For years. Every day. Literally.

When I could not face the pain of it any longer, I went to go see my physician – my Heavenly Physician, as all the earthly ones had failed me.

“Your dream is not dead,” He told me.

I laughed a bitter laugh and held up my withered, blackened shadow of a dream to show Him. “See?” I said, “How can it be anything but dead?”

“Let me keep it for a while,” He said.

“No.” I would not give it up. I clutched it to me all the more… that carcass of a dream was all I had left to live for… the tears watered my wound, the bitterness gave me strength to face the empty hours. I somehow believed that if I did not let my wound heal, I could somehow hold on to the dream.



But then I remembered all the diseases and hurts that this Physician has healed me of already – how faithful He had been in all His promises to me. And I handed Him the last remnant of my dream and the pain, bitterness, and grief I was holding on to. I gave it up to Him who is able… not knowing what to expect. He could keep it forever and never return it.

And then I waited. I waited and waited. I walked around with a missing dream – which is a bit different than a dying dream. I let go of the grief and the pain and let my wound heal a bit. I added the balm of prayer and the healing of the Blood. Slowly, I was returning to life without the daily wash of tears – to life with potential, life with joy. Yes, I will always carry the scars of a broken heart – but my heart will be whole once more. My Physician knows best how to heal such hurts.

Ever had a dream come back to life?

It took me by surprise. I know it should not have – after all, I do know the nature of my Physician – He does impossible things all the time.

All of a sudden, He returned my dream to me – alive and healthy. But that is not all – this dream was not just alive – it was coming true!

I think, just perhaps, that when you have had a dream resurrected, the joy does not fade as quickly as it does for dreams that come true all on their own. This joy is alive and growing – a tree of life that does fade. Because it is not just that the dream came true… it is that the dream came true as a gift from God!

The little boy waiting so far away in that orphanage has no clue that he is the work of my Great Physician to fulfill my hopes, heal my heart – he is my dream come true. That little boy – my son (!!!) – is a gift from God!

What joy! What enduring joy!

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Provisional Approval!

We have been provisionally approved by the USCIS to bring our little boy home!
I know a bunch of you are wondering… didn’t this already happen?!?
Yes! But that was approval for a non-specific child as described by our home study and this is a specific provisional approval for a very particular little boy. And pending the legal proceedings months from now, this very particular little boy will be approved to come home… to his new home in the good ol’ U.S. of A.


Hurrah!!!
But the receipt of this provisional approval doesn’t mean the end of paperwork… it was just a step that will lead to the next steps in the process. We have more paperwork to do for his visa! And a few new forms as well that I have yet to learn the purpose of.
So even though it is just a step closer, we are grateful for that step.
And now for a little explanation:
A few of you have noticed that we are no longer calling him Vanyo or even Vanya.
When we met our little bundle of joy, we realized that Vanya just did not fit him. He is 100% a Victor! To call him anything else just felt wrong.
In other exciting news, some of our dear friends are throwing us a baby shower this weekend! We are really looking forward to seeing our dear friends from far and wide that we met during Ian’s grad school and through various connections here in DC. These people are awesome and have been by our side through thick and thin!
No other news though… we will hear nothing of our little Victor until we go to pick him up. No updates, no new pictures, nothing.
We are allowed to send him a Christmas present though… we are still thinking on what to send to him. Some new clothes and a teddy bear? A musical toy with lots of replacement batteries? We can’t wait to send him a reminder of our love! It still makes my heart heavy to know that he will not be spending Christmas with us this year. I was so sure that he would be with us… but with the constantly changing requirements for bringing him home, we will be glad of travel dates in January… or even February. I just pray that it is not March or later. It just seems like too long to wait.

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Diary of a Soon-to-be Daddy - All He Ever Does is Come Through

Diary of a Soon-to-be Daddy
All He Ever Does is Come Through
When I last posted in our blog way back in July, seeing our little Victor was still a long way’s off even though we were to be seeing him in only two short months. Since we didn’t know the dates we’d be travelling yet, the time between then and our first meeting seemed like an inestimable eternity. During that time I got to thinking about my life, my job, and what things I would have to rearrange once Victor gets here. I remember asking the Lord, “What should I do about my job? I commute four hours every day. That’s untenable with a new kid that I should be bonding with.” In response to my very important and urgent plea, the Lord simply said, “Wait.” Unafraid that the Lord of the universe, the Creator of Heaven and Earth, might react in righteous anger, I retorted flippantly, “All I ever do is wait!” It seemed like a fair response for such an important request, after all. But the Lord, full of grace and truth, before I could even finish my sentence, responded with, “And all I ever do is come through.”
He was right, of course. Despite the difficult things that I’ve lived through in my life (legal blindness, joblessness, penury, and the grievous delay in having kids to name a few), the Lord has always come through and heard my pleas for help. I’ve fended off total blindness all my life, I finally got a job at a company that treats me very well, I have enough money to live on and bless others with, and Mel and I now have the most awesome little son ever! I’ve waited, and waited, and waited, and He has always come through – usually just in the nick of time and always with a good lesson.
I bring this remembrance to light not because I simply wish to retell of God’s desire to reprimand my flippancy, but because the last time I posted in our blog, I asked the Lord to bless our son with growth, strength, wisdom, and grace while we waited to see Him. I made this request in our blog and Mel and I made a point of making the same request every day in prayer from that time until the day we first saw Victor. We prayed, and yes, we waited. And believe it or not, the Lord came through!
When we were in the orphanage’s waiting room eagerly expecting Victor to be brought in, we were both filled with lots of excitement and joy but also with a grain of hesitancy and uncertainty. We couldn’t wait to see our son, but we worried a little about what he would be like. I myself was expecting the orphanage workers to carry in this little blob of a kid, curled up, emaciated, and listless. I figured that since he had been eating gruel (no joke), that he would be practically half-dead. Despite the fact that we had both been praying for strength, growth, wisdom, and grace for our son, we expected little. But when Victor and his caregivers came bursting through the door, Victor walking and pulling on their arm of his caregiver the way a terrier pulls on its leash, we both saw that our prayers had been answered and the Lord had indeed “always come through.”
The first thing we had been praying for was that he would grow. Being fed nothing but gruel from a baby bottle is no way to live and it’s no way to grow. Victor should be puny and listless and without an ounce of strength. But he isn’t. He does have weaker lower legs, so when we walks, he has to have his hand held. But despite that, he pulls like a terrier on the very arm that is holding him up! Both Mel’s and my arms were practically out of their sockets by the end of the week. He also has much better eyesight than we’d thought. The orphanage had told us that he basically completely blind. They seemed to have given up on him ever seeing. But on our first day with him, we could tell he could see us. He looked at us, he made eye contact, he looked at other things, he looked for and found his toys. And when I played “seeing games” with him to test the level and breadth of his vision (the same types of games my mom used to play with me, like putting an orange toy on the orange linoleum floor just out of his field of vision to see if he can see it), he “passed” with flying colours. Yes, he still has problems – he is still visually impaired and may need surgeries and glasses. But he can see. His eyes are stronger than we were told, just like the Lord told us to pray.
We also prayed for him to grow in spirit. Growing up in an orphanage with no mom or dad is nigh unto a curse for one’s personality development. Again, we went in there expecting to find a kid that had either no personality whatsoever, or a personality that had been skewed by the lack of parental love and discipline. Again, we were proved wrong. Victor has not only a strong personality but also a very sweet and fun one! He smiled a lot, he liked cuddling, he laughed a lot, and while he didn’t talk using coherent words (since he hasn’t learned to yet), he was communicative. And beyond that, his personality was big and steadfast! He had definite preferences – when we rolled up his sleeves, he rolled them right back down again without barely a thought. He also didn’t care for the hood on his sweater being put up. When he wanted to stop walking, he plunked himself down on the ground and started to play with rocks (or broken glass, which wasn’t good!). He was the perfect three-year-old!
We also wanted him to be “wise to us” as his parents, so we prayed for him to grow in wisdom. Like the other two, this one was answered fully! When we first took him outside, I made a point of praying over him and telling him that I was his father. When I said this to him, he reached up out of his stroller and climbed into my arms. It was amazing! Over that week he and I bonded very closely. He also bonded with Mommy who sang him songs and cuddled him until he squirmed. He may not know exactly what parents are, but he definitely knows we’re supposed to be in his life, and he in ours. He is wise to us. The Lord came through.

Finally, we prayed for the grace of God to be on him. The grace of God, simply put, in God’s desire to see us, His children, beautified and made into the best people we can be. We wanted the Lord to make his favour on our little Victor evident to all those around him. And it was! The orphanage people loved him and wanted to see him adopted. They loved us and were pleased that we were the ones adopting him. They frequently told us, through our translators, how happy they were that he was finally getting adopted into a good family. We felt that they could have done some things better for sure, but their attitudes toward him were reflective of the Lord’s favour on him.
So the Lord always comes through. And He’s going to come through again when we bring Victor home in three to five months. This is not me presuming that God’s going to do something I want Him to do. It’s me acknowledging what He has done up until now and knowing that since He doesn’t change, He will continue to work His miracles and bring this adoption to its rightful and perfect conclusion. There’s still so much work to do, so much preparation to complete, so much money to raise. But we continue to rely on the Lord and wait on Him. Because just like He always has done, He will come through.