Second Home Study Visit

So we returned to the International House of Pancakes for our second home study visit... which, by the way, doesn't seem very international. Where are the Bulgarian pancakes?!? We need our palachinki!

Well, the palachinki are a sort of crepe, so IHOP sort of has them... but, in protest, we refused pancakes this time and just had some of their dinner entrees.

But on to more important matters... this was a rather important meeting with our social worker. She needed to be satisfied that there was nothing in our pasts that would keep us from being good parents. She spent about five minutes on Ian... and then turned to me and my very unconventional childhood. She told me that she needed to make certain that I would not raise my children the way I had been raised. Hmm... let me see... no, of course not! I am not my parents (hippies fleeing from society), I am not and do not plan on living in extreme poverty (please, Lord), I do not like living out in the woods without modern conveniences (can't beat indoor plumbing), and a thousand other little things. I tried to explain that I survived my childhood because my parents actually loved me. I also explained I found healing and peace about my unusual upbringing when I discovered the love of God and the love of God's people. That I had processed through the good, the bad, and the ugly and had cried what tears I had to cry and now lived a normal, balanced life with good and healthy plans for my children. They will be made to eat their vegetables. They will have sleepovers with their friends. They may even play soccer.

In the end, she not only was satisfied that I could be a good parent, she even said that I would be a very good parent for a kid who grew up in an orphanage! (What?!? I am not sure I make the connection between growing up in the boonies and growing up in an institution, but I will take it!)

We have our third (and final!) visit this weekend. This will be the home inspection where she makes sure that our little apartment isn't a dangerous place. We'll be ok, I think... not many holes in the floor to fall through and we don't keep a vicious dog on the balcony.

We are required to have the bare minimum of furniture for our kid to pass this inspection... a place to sleep and a place to put clothing. And while we are very excited to set up our little one's room, we decided we needed to wait on most things... when we know the age and if we are getting a boy or girl, we will then go crazy with monkeys, owls, or Nats baseball. Until then we are just assembling the basics... and as we already had a place for clothing, this means getting a bed. And, thanks to some very dear and generous friends, we have one! Here is Ian with our little kiddo's bed, ready to be set up. So cute!

We are working on our education too - watching hour after hour of lectures on brain development, psychology, practical parenting, all geared for the adoptive parent. It is really a wonderful series of classes. We are learning a lot and even enjoying it.

If you are praying for us, we so appreciate it! Our stress levels are running pretty high, and we are eager for this part of the process to be accomplished. Every prayer makes a difference - even a brief  "Help them, Lord!" Pray for our little one too, that the waiting will be short and that he or she will be in our arms soon!

First Home Study Visit

Hello All!

We completed our first of three home study visits. Hurrah!

I believe that it went really well, as we all munched on breakfast for dinner at IHOP, even though Ian agrees with Hank Hill from the television series King of the Hill – “Never again!”

I am sure you all want to know all the juicy details... Well, I had blueberry pancakes and coffee… What? Not the details you were hoping for? Alright…

We discussed our lives, our hopes and dreams for a sweet little adopted child, the intricacies of international adoption. It was a bit scattered but I guess we have a lot to cover in just three sessions.

We spent the most time talking about why we want to adopt. The right answer was “Because we want to parent a child.” And we gave this right answer, for it is very true. We want a child to nourish and provide for, to raise up in right and good ways for his or her own happiness and benefit. We want what any parents would want for our children… that they grow up to be as healthy, happy, and as good as we possibly can bring them up to be. We all agreed on this. It was until we started discussing why we wanted to adopt a special-needs child from an impoverished nation that we did come to the lengthy discussion/lecture. It was our social worker’s job to play the devil’s advocate, but it seemed to me like we had said something that wasn't politically correct and she was showing us the "error" of our way.

Except I know it is not an error. We have a need in our heart – an empty space for a child. But it isn’t shaped just like any child… it only can be filled by the child that God has for us… a child that has a few more needs than most, that, if left alone and in the orphanage, may not even live - at least not as we know it. And if he or she does live, will face a life of stigma, despair, and loneliness. Having faced more than our share of suffering in our lives, we are eager to ease the suffering of another human being – to cut off a lot of that suffering before it can leave too much of a mark on a fragile young soul. We, too, have experienced more than the usual amount of healing in our lives, and know what it means to be an “overcomer.” It is something that we can share with our child – how to not just cope, but how to find healing for life’s hurts. For us, it does not make sense to adopt a little child who does not know the sting of pain – physical and emotional – who would have little use of our very specific experience and know how. All the pain and suffering that we have gone through in our lives must be good for something… and this is it!

“But your child will never be grateful that you have rescued it,” our social worker warned. Of course not! If we do our jobs right as parents, he or she will not even realized that he or she has been rescued! He or she will just feel loved and cared for, a true son or daughter of our family! Not a project or an instance of charity. This little child will be OUR SON or OUR DAUGHTER. Period.

I think we were able to convince her that all was good with our motivation to adopt… but we will have the chance to discuss it further in a couple days, when we return to IHOP for our second session! This home study is moving so quickly!

Here is a lovely little video about the importance of adoption... thanks, Niki, for sending it to us! It was such an encouragement!

Did You Miss Us?

We went on Vacation!

Our incredibly hospitable friends in Orlando, FL let us stay with them, took us to Epcot Center, and let us play for hours with their daughter (aka the most adorable 3-year-old ever)!

Luxurious Room to Spare!

It was wonderful visiting with them and exploring their world. Quite honestly, it was the most relaxing, fun-filled vacation since our honeymoon in 2004. (Well, it has been our only “vacation” since then, as long as you don’t count the wonderful but stress-filled trips to the West Coast to visit our families at Christmas. Visiting and spending time with 30+ people from three or four different regions/states all in one week can be a bit much, but worth every minute!) But this vacation was almost five days of pure relaxation and fun. We even got upgraded to the “more room” seats on the way there and back!

When we got back, we had wonderful news! Our first home study visit is tomorrow evening! We are meeting at a local IHOP, strangely enough, and will discuss our hopes and plans for our family over pancakes. (Well, I will have the pancakes, but Ian, who is not a lover of the “breakfast for dinner” concept, will probably have a burger.)

We hope that we will “click” with the social worker. I would love for her to really understand why we are adopting and our vision for our family. However, the most important thing is that, at the end of the three visits, she gives us her stamp of approval.

We know we need to get started on several things ASAP – our adoption education (10 hours of video watching due before the home study ends) and setting up our little one’s room, as that is part of the home inspection that will occur in a couple of weeks. Eeek!!! (That was a squeak of part excitement, part panic.) So please pray that all goes well!