We completed our first of three home study visits. Hurrah!
I believe that it went really well, as we all munched on breakfast for dinner at IHOP, even though Ian agrees with Hank Hill from the television series King of the Hill – “Never again!”
I am sure you all want to know all the juicy details... Well, I had blueberry pancakes and coffee… What? Not the details you were hoping for? Alright…
We discussed our lives, our hopes and dreams for a sweet little adopted child, the intricacies of international adoption. It was a bit scattered but I guess we have a lot to cover in just three sessions.
We spent the most time talking about why we want to adopt. The right answer was “Because we want to parent a child.” And we gave this right answer, for it is very true. We want a child to nourish and provide for, to raise up in right and good ways for his or her own happiness and benefit. We want what any parents would want for our children… that they grow up to be as healthy, happy, and as good as we possibly can bring them up to be. We all agreed on this. It was until we started discussing why we wanted to adopt a special-needs child from an impoverished nation that we did come to the lengthy discussion/lecture. It was our social worker’s job to play the devil’s advocate, but it seemed to me like we had said something that wasn't politically correct and she was showing us the "error" of our way.
Except I know it is not an error. We have a need in our heart – an empty space for a child. But it isn’t shaped just like any child… it only can be filled by the child that God has for us… a child that has a few more needs than most, that, if left alone and in the orphanage, may not even live - at least not as we know it. And if he or she does live, will face a life of stigma, despair, and loneliness. Having faced more than our share of suffering in our lives, we are eager to ease the suffering of another human being – to cut off a lot of that suffering before it can leave too much of a mark on a fragile young soul. We, too, have experienced more than the usual amount of healing in our lives, and know what it means to be an “overcomer.” It is something that we can share with our child – how to not just cope, but how to find healing for life’s hurts. For us, it does not make sense to adopt a little child who does not know the sting of pain – physical and emotional – who would have little use of our very specific experience and know how. All the pain and suffering that we have gone through in our lives must be good for something… and this is it!
“But your child will never be grateful that you have rescued it,” our social worker warned. Of course not! If we do our jobs right as parents, he or she will not even realized that he or she has been rescued! He or she will just feel loved and cared for, a true son or daughter of our family! Not a project or an instance of charity. This little child will be OUR SON or OUR DAUGHTER. Period.
I think we were able to convince her that all was good with our motivation to adopt… but we will have the chance to discuss it further in a couple days, when we return to IHOP for our second session! This home study is moving so quickly!
Here is a lovely little video about the importance of adoption... thanks, Niki, for sending it to us! It was such an encouragement!
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