Enduring Joy!

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.

Ever had a dream come true?

It is glorious! But soon enough, the elation fades and life goes back to normal.

Ever had a dream be way past overdue?

To wait and wait and wait… and never see it come to past? Or maybe you have even had the horrible experience of watching a dream die and all possibility of it coming true pass away into oblivion?

If this dream is a dream of your heart, a long hoped for essential part of your life – part of your identity – part of you breaks. You are no longer whole, you have a wound that aches night and day. It makes you cry at others’ joy, and shrink from life. You are sick, and the longer you live without the dream, the sicker you get. Pain turns to despair, which then becomes bitterness. You become poisoned with your pain.

What happens when you watch your dream die?

 

Without it ever seeing the light of day, you have to bury that dream, grieve it with bitter tears, and then prepare to face the rest of your life – your empty arms a constant reminder of your broken heart. Can one even live a life like that?

This is a sickness that needs healing just like any other. If you let it go without treatment, the rot of bitterness with reach the very core of you and you will die even though you live.

Some time ago, this was me.

I clutched my dead dream to my heart and cried. And cried and cried. For years. Every day. Literally.

When I could not face the pain of it any longer, I went to go see my physician – my Heavenly Physician, as all the earthly ones had failed me.

“Your dream is not dead,” He told me.

I laughed a bitter laugh and held up my withered, blackened shadow of a dream to show Him. “See?” I said, “How can it be anything but dead?”

“Let me keep it for a while,” He said.

“No.” I would not give it up. I clutched it to me all the more… that carcass of a dream was all I had left to live for… the tears watered my wound, the bitterness gave me strength to face the empty hours. I somehow believed that if I did not let my wound heal, I could somehow hold on to the dream.

But then I remembered all the diseases and hurts that this Physician has healed me of already – how faithful He had been in all His promises to me. And I handed Him the last remnant of my dream and the pain, bitterness, and grief I was holding on to. I gave it up to Him who is able… not knowing what to expect. He could keep it forever and never return it.

And then I waited. I waited and waited. I walked around with a missing dream – which is a bit different than a dying dream. I let go of the grief and the pain and let my wound heal a bit. I added the balm of prayer and the healing of the Blood. Slowly, I was returning to life without the daily wash of tears – to life with potential, life with joy. Yes, I will always carry the scars of a broken heart – but my heart will be whole once more. My Physician knows best how to heal such hurts.

Ever had a dream come back to life?

It took me by surprise. I know it should not have – after all, I do know the nature of my Physician – He does impossible things all the time.

All of a sudden, He returned my dream to me – alive and healthy. But that is not all – this dream was not just alive – it was coming true!

I think, just perhaps, that when you have had a dream resurrected, the joy does not fade as quickly as it does for dreams that come true all on their own. This joy is alive and growing – a tree of life that does fade. Because it is not just that the dream came true… it is that the dream came true as a gift from God!

The little boy waiting so far away in that orphanage has no clue that he is the work of my Great Physician to fulfill my hopes, heal my heart – he is my dream come true. That little boy – my son (!!!) – is a gift from God!

What joy! What enduring joy!