Christmas

Can I write about Christmas yet?

Last year, it was a rather sad Christmas… No little ones, not even my cute little nieces and nephews, to run around with Christmas joy.

I know that the joy of children is not the only joy of Christmas – there is the joy of family, the joy of friends, the joy of giving, the joy of making a difference in others lives, the joy of knowing that God sent His only Son to us out of pure love… the list could go on for quite a while. But for me, my empty arms and the broken mother’s heart within me made it hard to feel the other joys.

It was so awful that I did not want to face Christmas again without my little one. I worked hard on paperwork to bring him home in time for Christmas. I prayed and prayed.

But here we are, Christmas again, and still an ocean between our son and us.

However, it is different than last year. It is still sad, yes, but not quite so sharply.

Instead of yearning for a child, I am yearning for a son that I have met and held in my arms.

Instead of wondering at the future and if we would ever make any progress with the adoption, I am wondering when it will be finished.

Instead of tears, I have quiet sighs of impatience patience.

So even though I do not have my sweet son under my tree yet, I can honestly say that my Christmas is not joyless. Not by far. A little sad, yes, but it feels more like a determined patience than a sorrow. This may not be the first Christmas he spends with us, but we know him and have him in our hearts and minds.

“Just think,” we say, “Next Christmas, he will be with us!”

We look at his photos, laugh at the memories of his cuddles and temper tantrums, and hold on just a little longer without him.

Come home, soon, sweet Victor!

P.S. If any of our friends and family want to get us Christmas prezzies this year, could you instead give to our adoption fund? We have all the possessions we need – and the only thing we want is our son to come home. We have a few thousand left to fundraise for our second trip, which is now at least 10 – 12 days long instead of the 5 – 7 days we were expecting – all due to a new requirement by US Immigration. So instead of chocolates and new hats, would you consider helping us bring our baby home? If not for Christmas, maybe for Martin Luther King Jr. Day? Or maybe Valentine’s Day? Or, at the very latest, St. Patrick’s Day?